I couldn't have picked a better word for myself than this one. I think that the Lord is clearly reminding me to have courage. I will not be afraid of what is to come. Deployments, new situations, learning to be independent again. When I saw that the word was "afraid" this Friday, I sat here with my mouth open for a second or ten! Only because, right from the beginning of this year, my focus has been on courage and gaining the strength that can only come from God.
I feel like I've been slammed with uncertainty. Dates swirl and swirl around in my mind. When I feel afraid of what's to come I hear very clearly, "Do not be afraid. I am with you." I know...I know. We know this, so why do we continue to walk in fear? Why do I continue to feel afraid? Is it so that I constantly have to draw near to Him? The "what ifs" want to crowd my mind and overrun my heart full of courage. Words filled with love and encouragement push them away and I am filled with peace that I know doesn't come from myself. His peace fills the void that doubt and fear creates.
And so I speak to my God, my Father:
I can't control what is happening inside and outside of me. But YOU can. You led the way. You sent people before me and placed them right where they needed to be. Our close knit group of prayer warriors prayed for our new home, our new church, our new friends. You covered what might have been forgotten because you always know just what we need. When my words fail and I feel afraid all I have to do is close my eyes and let my spirit speak to Yours as I sit quietly and wait. You never, ever fail me. When I let go with one hand I feel Your mighty Hand in the other and I am steady once again. You are never far from me. I am so grateful. I can barely express my heart to You. I am so glad that You see me from the inside out.
No editing, no back-tracking. Just writing for five minutes. Won't you join us?